The political progress women have made — and what’s next | Cecile Richards

Women have made enormous progress over the last century — challenging the status quo, busting old taboos and changing business from the inside out. But when it comes to political representation, there's still a long way to go, says activist Cecile Richards. In this visionary talk, Richards calls for a global political revolution for women's equality and offers her ideas for how we can build it.
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Single or Partnered: How to Make 2019 Your Year of Real Love!

The edge of a new year can be an exciting time full of hope and possibility. If you’re anything like me, you’re likely asking yourself, “What do I want to create this year?”

If real, vibrant, lasting love is on your list, keep reading.

Envisioning your hopes and dreams for 2019 is a beautiful practice to open another revolution around the sun, but I want to take some time with you right now to help you make sure that those big, beautiful dreams don’t fall flat before you even get them off the ground!

That’s why in this special New Year’s follow up episode, I’m going to let you in on some secrets of the unconscious and just how the stories it might be concealing could be playing out in your love life without you even knowing it! (Sneaky, bastard!)

We are going to take a look at your “limiting love stories”, how they may be affecting your relationships now (whether you’re single or partnered), and how gaining clarity is absolutely essential for you to make 2019 your year of epic REAL Love!

In my video episode I share my own personal “limiting love story” and how it resulted in me setting myself up to be unfulfilled in relationships for years, AND how I was able to wise up and take my power back (and how you can too).

So let me ask you: what are the limiting stories you’re telling yourself about love or your own lovability? Take a minute and really think about that. This is heavily charged stuff, so I invite you to breathe deeply and allow the honest truth to surface.

I want you to bring to mind:

  • What were your experiences with love growing up?
  • What did you see, or hear, feel in reference to love?
  • What was modeled for you?
  • Who taught you about love?
  • What were their beliefs or messages about what love was supposed to be like or feel like?

The compilation of these answers is in part what I call your Downloaded Love Blueprint. Our parents, our families, and the cultures we grow up in influence, almost pre-program, the way we will experience love for the rest of our lives!

This includes (but isn’t limited to) things like how you think people in love should behave, how worthy you believe you are, and how much you value yourself, or whether you honestly value yourself at all.

Your family of origin is an important part of this but isn’t totally to blame here. Society, media, art – even children’s storybooks – all have a hand in influencing how we perceive what love should be. And for the most part, these stories leave us with warped, unhealthy and often detrimental ideas about what romantic love is or can be.

Think about it – what were the earliest stories you heard about love?

  • Was it a fairytale where some princess or damsel in distress needed to be saved by some knight in shining armor? Right, exactly.
  • Or how about this one – the countless movies where the heroine was able to change the “bad boy” with the power of her love? Yikes.
  • Or what about the story of the ugly duckling (or the nerdy girl in glasses, or the girl from the wrong side of the tracks) who transforms into a great beauty worthy of love under the attention and tutelage of some caring, altruistic man? Um…hard pass.

Since this is indeed what we have to work with, it’s no wonder our relationships are out of whack. We’re taught that if the stars align and if we’re in the right place at the right time that true love will fall in our laps and we’ll finally get our happily ever after…

As a therapist, I can tell you is that is just bullshit! Lasting love is not about stumbling into some magical love story to be swept away by a handsome prince.

Real, healthy, vibrant love is (and always will be) all about your mental health, self-regard and the energy that you’re putting out into the world. It’s about your beliefs, and more specifically your self-limiting beliefs about what love is and about what’s possible for you.

When we have these stories planted in our unconscious, we can’t help but act them out over and over to our own detriment. What you saw growing up as a child, what you were taught about love, the stories that reinforced those false ideals… all of it gets internalized and lives in your unconscious mind without you even being aware.

Whether you know it or not these injuries still have energy. They’re still charged, and if you don’t find a way to reveal + process them, you will most likely continue to play out these bad storylines over and over again.

But here’s the GREAT news… YOU have the power to change your love blueprint! You learned it and that means that once you can raise your awareness around it, you can UN-learn it.

So what can you do?

Find A Good Therapist

I know I may be partial, but I cannot begin to tell you how transformative regular talk therapy can be for your mental, emotional and even spiritual health. When you are able to sit down with an impartial party trained to give you the tools you need to unearth even the most buried wounds, you will find yourself on the fast track to the healthiest you that you can be.

Talk To A Friend

Find a good listener and talk it out with them. Share your origin stories with each other. It’s important that the person you choose is on the same path as you (even better if they’re a few steps ahead) so they don’t accidentally reinforce your crappy love story.

Write It Down

Journaling is a beautiful tool to bring things up to the surface. The act of writing things down has the effect of making the experience concrete and therefore legitimate and simultaneously taking the power out of it. Write it down. Then write it down again. Do this as many times as you need to process and let go.

The beautiful thing is, once you acknowledge and understand these unconscious stories, you have the ability to stop playing them out because the charge from that injury will be released through the process of seeing it for what it is. Whether that is through therapeutic writing, working it out in therapy or talking about it with a friend, the key is to get it out of the basement of your mind (subconscious) and bring it on up into the main part of the house where you can really see it, clean it up to let it go!

With that in mind, I have an extraordinary gift that I’m so excited to share with you today!

I’ve created special questionnaires and corresponding guides to help you dive deep into your story to help you excavate and understand exactly how these stories have been holding you back and the action steps to take to get the most out of your love life.

There is a different questionnaire and guide for those of you who are single and those of you that are partnered because you’re in different places in your life, right? It’s important to me that I’m able to meet you where you are right now.

You can get started on your questionnaire right here. Once you’ve finished answering the questions, all you have to do is enter your email to get access to your downloadable guide based on your answers.

When you can get clear about the truth and about what love really is you can finally begin to RE-write your own story– one that is authentically and uniquely aligned with what you want! And that, lovebug, is a beautiful thing. @terri_cole (Click to Tweet!)

So I invite you to create some time and space for yourself to sit with these assessment tools and get really honest about not only where you are, but where you’ve come from. The more awareness you have about yourself and your story, the more empowered you will be to create the kind of lasting, loving relationships you desire.

And then please leave me a comment telling me how your “limiting love story” has been playing out in your life and relationships. I want to hear everything!

As of January 14th we are running our 10-day More Love Meditation experience right here! You can jump in at any time and I would love for you to join us. I’m thrilled about this! I’ve created 10 brand new meditations for you motivated by what you have shared with me about your biggest challenges in love. I feel like we co-created this powerful experience together! It’s going to be super transformative, and I can’t wait to share it with you.

We’re capping off our 10-day meditation experience with new free training, More Love Live on Wednesday, January 23rd. You will have the opportunity to take everything you learned today and join me live, learn additional strategies and tools and get your questions answered so that I can help you make real change so that THIS year is YOUR year of epic Real Love.

Together let’s put our stake in the ground and take a stand for 2019 being the year for epic REAL love!

I hope so much that you have the most beautiful New Year’s Eve.

Enjoy yourself, be safe, and as always take care of you,

Terri

Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, transformation coach, and an expert at turning fear into freedom. Sign up for Terri’s weekly Newsletter, check out her blog and follow her on Twitter.

Related Posts

  1. Create Real Self-Love in 5 Simple Steps
  2. Think Real Love Needs No Boundaries?
  3. Love Is Real When It Is Hard
  4. The HUGE Mistake We Make When It Comes To LOVE!

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Self Expression

Self-expression is not very encouraged in today’s society, which tends to reward more for achievement and appeasement. My guess is that your self-expression is a little backed up. How am I so confident in this assumption? Because a lot of us suffer from creative constipation!

Why is self-expression so important? Because it is one of the ways we channel and release emotions. If we don’t express on a regular basis, we are likely to suppress which leads to things like irritability, fatigue, lack of motivation and sadness.

If you are thinking, “Well I am just not that creative” you are absolutely incorrect. We are ALL creative; we just express it in different ways. Thinking you have to be good at something like painting, writing, singing, or dancing in order to enjoy expressing it is stifling your self-expression.

Here are six easy steps you can follow to get your creativity flowing:

1. Make time. Since creative expression is not something that feels urgent or attached to any goal (and boy oh boy do we love goals and results!), we often do not schedule it in. Honor your self-expression by putting it on your calendar. Go here for my blog about creating white space.

2. Tune in. Creativity is one of the ways Spirit expresses through us. Before you go into self-expression mode, make time to connect through prayer, meditation or spending time in nature.

3. Make it sacred. Just like you’d set the mood for a romantic evening, create an atmosphere for your creative process. Use things like music, candles and sacred objects.

4. Be a kid! Children are the best teachers of self-expression. They create with so much enthusiasm, curiosity and joy without any attachment to the end product. Bring that childlike wonderment to your creative endeavors and enjoy the process!

5. No editing. Do not judge yourself or attempt to edit your expression while you are creating it – it will interrupt your process and radically shift you from your creative brain to your analytical one (and don’t you spend enough time there anyway?). Just allow it to flow. This is how I write my books. First I just write, write, write and let the creative juices flow freely. Then later I go back to edit and fine tune.

6. Celebration. After you create something, acknowledge yourself for it! Perhaps even share it with a friend or put it on display somewhere like parents put their kid’s pictures on the refrigerator. Celebration is key to honoring (not evaluating!) your self-expression. I was interviewed in Tommy Rosen’s Recovery 2.0 conference about depression. One of the things I shared is that I notice people experience depression from suppressing their creativity. This is especially true for individuals who are highly right-brain dominant/creative but grew up in very left-brain dominant/logical households. Since their creativity was often misunderstood and discouraged, they had to suppress it. If you resonate with this at all and perhaps feel a little depressed, get your creativity flowing ASAP!

Self-expression is vital to our well being. All the kale and yoga in the world will not lift your spirits if you are creatively constipated. @ChristinHassler (Click to Tweet!)

I hope you take my encouragement today and commit to finding ways to honor creativity.

Love,

Christine

P.S. I have a new podcast where I coach people LIVE on the air. Head over to Over it and On With It and listen in for inspiration and action steps.

Christine Hassler has broken down the complex and overwhelming experience of recovering from disappointment into a step-by-step treatment plan in her new book Expectation Hangover. This book reveals the formula for how to process disappointment on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual levels to immediately ease suffering. Instead of wallowing in regret, self-recrimination, or anger, we can see these experiences as catalysts for profound transformation and doorways that open to possibility. You can find more info on her website, and follow her on Twitter and FB.

image courtesy of AdinaViocu.

Related Posts

  1. Your Self-Expression Is a Gift to The World. Claim It.
  2. Creativity and the Pursuit of Meaning
  3. 7 Brilliant Books About the Nature of Creativity
  4. How to Break Free from Repressed Emotions

The post Self Expression appeared first on Positively Positive.

A life-saving device that detects silent heart attacks | Akash Manoj

You probably know the common symptoms of a heart attack: chest and arm pain, shortness of breath and fatigue. But there's another kind that's just as deadly and harder to detect because the symptoms are silent. In this quick talk, 17-year-old inventor Akash Manoj shares the device he's developed to stop this silent killer: a noninvasive, inexpensive, wearable patch that alerts patients during a critical moment that could mean the difference between life and death.
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We Have to Own Our Part to Heal Our Broken Heart and Find a Deeper Love

“True love does not only encompass the things that make you feel good, it also holds you to a standard of accountability.” ~Monica Johnson

I remember the confusion I felt as it slowly began to register to me that he had indeed read all of my messages and was indeed ignoring me. Even though my eyes were telling me this, it still didn’t make any sense.

Just the day before, he’d initiated contact, called me beautiful, and wanted to know the details of my day. We’d talked all day that day, as we normally did. But this was a new day. And he ghosted me. He discarded me.

It hurt like hell. My heart felt like it had literally been ripped out of my chest by the Hulk. It was forceful and it was intense.

This absolutely could not be happening. So I ashamedly sent a few more messages, but he still ignored me.

My tears flowed like a steady spring rain. My head hurt. I didn’t want to eat. I didn’t want to sleep. I didn’t want to do anything but see a notification from him, proving me wrong. Proving to me that he did not ghost me, that this was a terrible dream.

But that solace never came.

For the first few days after this, I craved him like my favorite dish.

But then I started to realize that this man who’d shared so much intimacy with me had just left me with no explanation. No goodbye.

So I became angry.

I was slowly going through the grieving process. Denial. Sadness. Now anger. I was about to enter my next phase, which was acceptance. I reached this phase through accountability. I realized that even though the way he exited our relationship wasn’t mature, I wasn’t innocent.

I’d been needy, desperate, and clingy, and I’d hung my self-esteem on his “hey beautiful” texts like a person gasping for air. He was my air. His validation is where my self-worth started and began.

I began to realize that I had pushed and pressured him. I had made him the source of my joy. I had put a heavy burden on him. I was taking love from him and not giving him love in the way he needed it.

It would have been easy to play the victim, to say “woe is me” and hate him. It would have been easy to be resentful, bitter, and full of venom.

But instead, I chose the road of accountability.

I extended him grace and realized that as humans, we are always doing what we feel is best for us at each moment. I extended him forgiveness and I forgave myself.

I looked back over the last months and realized that I had abandoned myself. I had abandoned the self that was secure and had outsourced my self-esteem to him. It wasn’t fair to him. He hadn’t signed up for that.

Yes, he could have handled it better. He could have had a conversation with me. He could have done all kinds of things. But at the end of the day, that’s his cross to bear. My cross is that I had to begin to heal from this experience, I had to grow from this experience, and I had to evolve into a woman who was ready for true, genuine, reciprocal love.

I knew, deep in my heart, that he was the catalyst. So I thanked him. I released the hurt, anger, and confusion. It turned out that ghosting experience was the best thing that could have happened to me because it put me on the journey to true love.

Through this experience I learned:

-The importance of knowing your worth in a relationship

-To recognize and understand my boundaries

-That it’s okay to be selfish and put your needs first in dating

-What it really means to love and accept myself

The day I thanked him in my heart and released the pain from that experience I learned so much. That day mostly taught me how living as a victor will attract the deepest love you have ever felt. I’m so happy I didn’t listen to my ego and stay in victimhood. I conquered. I took accountability.

If you choose to see what you gain from breakups, even the ones that break your heart into a million pieces, you will be much closer to experiencing a love so strong it will knock you off your feet.

If you want a deeper love, you need to be whole. Wholeness requires healing.

So many people are walking around as empty zombies, full of resentment and bitterness. Usually this happens when we’re unable to take responsibility for our part in a hurtful situation.

I understand you may have been cheated on, lied to, left in the cold, used, or, like me, you were ghosted. But do you see how in some ways you might have ignored red flags, or you were not firm in your boundaries, or how you sought validation outside of yourself, or were clingy, or pressured the other person into a relationship?

I am not blaming you. I am not making you wrong. I am asking you to take accountability for how this situation can teach you where you are wounded, and use it as your catalyst. After you’ve come out the other side you will be so much closer to transformative love.

The purpose of accountability is not to negate what the other person did or to make you feel regret, shame, or guilt. Those emotions do not serve you; they only keep you stuck in a downward spiral.

No, no, accountability is about realizing you have more power than you think. In many cases we get our hearts broken because we give our power away. We make others responsible for our happiness, joy, and worth. It’s not fair to them.

When we put people in this position, they may feel cornered. They may feel they have no other option but to run. That doesn’t condone immaturity or insensitivity. But odds are, they don’t mean to hurt us; they just don’t know what to do. It happens. If we dry our eyes and ease our anger we will see that this situation provides an opportunity to take a deep look at ourselves and recognize just how much love we are giving ourselves.

In order to get love from anyone else, we have to love and heal ourselves. We then are able to attract whole and healthy people who are ready to love us like we truly deserve.

Guess what?

The next man I met became the love of my life. And six years later, he has never ghosted me.

About Angela Holcomb

Angela S. Holcomb, aka the Wifed Up Coach, coaches women on how to embrace their authentic feminine essence and become high value women who date intentionally. She is also the author of, 21 Days of Feminine Magnetism, you can get the first two chapters of her book free on her site. Also, be sure to join her Facebook group.

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The post We Have to Own Our Part to Heal Our Broken Heart and Find a Deeper Love appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

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