What Americans agree on when it comes to health | Rebecca Onie

We may not be as deeply divided as we think — at least when it comes to health, says Rebecca Onie. In a talk that cuts through the noise, Onie shares research that shows how, even across economic, political and racial divides, Americans agree on what they need to live good lives — and asks both health care providers and patients to focus on what makes us healthy, not what makes us angry.
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Comparing Your Pain to Others?

Sometimes if I’ve had a crap day I think, “Well, at least I’m not having to live in a natural disaster area or war zone.” Or if I’m worried about cash flow, I’ll think, “Well, at least I’m not taking beer cans back to the store… to get a refund… in order to make bus fare… to get to work… to get my pay check.” (Like I used to.) And sometimes, when my heart is stressed I’ll think, “Better to have lost in love than…”

Sometimes, comparing your pain to others’ is an act of consciousness and compassion. It’s part of inclusive thinking. And it can also be an empowering way to practice gratitude.

But sometimes… comparing our pain to other people’s is a big distraction from our own feelings and the truth of the situation.

It’s the opposite of self-compassion and it’s most definitely some shallow positivity.

Denying your personal pain won’t lessen other people’s suffering. And weighing your woes and emotional strife on a global scale doesn’t necessarily make you a more responsible citizen.

Honour your pain, get real about the hassles—it might be some petty stuff or it could be soul-tragic. It’s your experience. Have it. That kind of self awareness serves us all. @DanielleLaPorte (Click to Tweet!)

All love,

Danielle LaPorte

Danielle LaPorte is an invited member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.” She is author of White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it real on your spiritual path—from one seeker to another. The Fire Starter Sessions, and The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul—the book that has been translated into 8 languages, evolved into a yearly day planner system, a top 10 iTunes app, and an international workshop program with licensed facilitators in 15 countries.

Named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes, millions of visitors go to DanielleLaPorte.com every month for her daily #Truthbombs and what’s been called “the best place online for kickass spirituality.” A speaker, a poet, a painter, and a former business strategist and Washington-DC think tank exec, Entrepreneur Magazine calls Danielle, “equal parts poet and entrepreneurial badass…edgy, contrarian…loving and inspired.” Her charities of choice are Eve Ensler’s VDay: a global movement to end violence against women and girls, and charity: water, setting out to bring safe drinking water to everyone in the world. She lives in Vancouver, BC with her favourite philosopher, her son. You can find her @daniellelaporte and just about everywhere on social media.

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3 Wealth Lessons I Learned After Becoming a Millionaire

I actually became a millionaire quite suddenly, almost overnight. If you’re wondering how to become a millionaire or want to be a millionaire one day, you may find it helpful to learn these lessons.

“Money is usually attracted, not pursued.” —Jim Rohn

As a result of becoming a millionaire so fast, I didn’t have a lot of time to adjust to suddenly having much more money than I was used to. It happened very fast after the success of the first Chicken Soup for the Soul book took off.

That experience taught me three powerful lessons about money and being a millionaire.

1. Money Doesn’t Change You Much

The first thing I learned was that money doesn’t change you as much as you’d think.

You’ve heard the saying, “Money can’t buy happiness.” It’s true.

If you were happy before you had money, you’re going to be happy when you have money. If you were unhappy before you had money, having money isn’t going to make you feel any happier or any more fulfilled.

We all know people who have very little money who are very happy and we all know people who have a lot of money and are very unhappy. Money really has nothing to do with it.

At the same time, there are certain things that money definitely helps with…

Money can help you handle unexpected expenses more easily.

It can help you give your kids a good education, or provide you and your loved ones with better healthcare.

It alleviates certain hardships, and that’s a really good thing about it.

But even though money can change the world around you, it won’t change YOU. Who you are, how you see the world and interact with it – all that stays the same. @JackCanfield (Click to Tweet!)

So if you’re afraid of attracting money into your life because you’re worried it’s going to change you in some way, don’t be. Having money tends to amplify the person you already are.

If you’re a good person who wants to make a positive impact in the world, you can do a lot more good things with your money. You can fund a lot of great projects.

If you’re a terrible person who only thinks about yourself, you’ll just be a terrible person with a lot of money. We’ve all met or read about those people.

And remember, it’s never too late to change the way you think about money. I was 51 when I received my first $1,000,000 check. Here’s a video about that:

2. Money Can Make You Uncomfortable

The second lesson I learned is, having more money than other people can make you very uncomfortable.

Two years after the first Chicken Soup for the Soul book came out, I made $6,000,000 dollars in a year.

That was a major amount of money and it made me very uncomfortable. I actually felt some guilt around it and had to wrestle with my own sense of worthiness.

I wasn’t sure I deserved that kind of money when so many people in the world had nothing.

Not only that – I noticed that even though I hadn’t changed, the way some people related to me did.

In the eyes of many, Jack Canfield the multimillionaire was a very different person than Jack Canfield the relatively successful speaker and coach.

And having people treat me differently all of a sudden was a very uncomfortable experience. I did eventually get used to it, as I became more comfortable being a person with money. But it took some time.

3. Money Makes You Look at Your Values

And the final lesson I learned when I became a millionaire is this: money forces you to look at what you truly value.

As I became more comfortable with having money, I had to take responsibility for it and decide what to do with it.

I had figure out what was most important to me, what were my values, and what did I really care about.

What I discovered was that I felt a strong responsibility to use my money for good.

But how?

Did I want to give my money to a school like Harvard, where I had graduated from – or give it to support homeless kids living in Santa Barbara where I live?

I ultimately decided to help build schools in Africa because my background and my values lie in education, and to support organizations dedicated to environmental sustainability to provide a future world where my grandchildren could survive in. That’s how I chose to give back.

I sat down with my family and together we decided what charities we were going to donate money to. It was a great opportunity to educate my kids on good money habits and the responsibilities of having money.

On Buying Too Much “Stuff”

Of course, there is also the danger of buying too much “stuff” when you have money.

People who suddenly have a lot of money may be tempted to make a lot of big purchases and surround themselves with way too much “stuff” they don’t really need.

When I first became wealthy, I went through a phase that I call my “nouveau riche stage”, in which I spent too much money on nice sweaters and clothing.

And at one point we even had a personal chef cooking all our meals. But I ended up gaining too much weight from having a chef and my wife became aware that she valued her privacy in the home more than the convenience of having someone else do all the cooking, so we decided to spend our money in ways that better served us.

So when it comes to spending your money in a way that truly makes you happy, you really need to examine yourself, your values and your priorities, and decide what it is you truly want.

Remember that it’s okay for money to make you uncomfortable, but that’s just because it’s exposing you to new situations beyond your current comfort zone.

It’s not significantly going to change YOU in any way.

But, if you want to be smart with your money and use it to create a life you truly love, put your money where your values lie. Use it to make a positive impact and create the kind of world you want to live in. That’s how you create a life of true purpose, deeper meaning, and abundance.

Develop a Millionaire Mindset

Here’s a great way to help you develop a millionaire mindset.

I want you to play the Millionaire Game. From this point forward, I encourage you to act as if you were already a millionaire or multi-millionaire.

How would you feel when you woke up in the morning?

What would your intention or purpose be for the day?

What would your mindset and outlook be?

How would you interact with your family, friends, coworkers, clients, and customers if you were already a millionaire?

How would you walk and talk, and how would you hold your body?

Fully visualize how you would move through the world as a millionaire – and then start acting that way today.

One of the most powerful exercises I often do in my live seminars and training is to have people stand up and mill around the room, interacting with each other as if they were already millionaires. At the end of the exercise, I ask them if they feel any different.

Everyone always reports that they feel more confident, more outgoing, happier, more enthusiastic and more energized.

Yet they hadn’t really become millionaires except in their minds!

And we know from the Law of Attraction when you feel, talk and act like a wealthy person, you attract more wealth and abundance into your life. The energy you put out into the universe will help you attract the people, the resources, and the opportunities to actually make that dream of wealth and abundance a reality.

As the beloved originator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series, Jack Canfield fostered the emergence of inspirational anthologies as a genre—and watched it grow to a billion dollar market. As the driving force behind the development and delivery of over 100 million books sold through the Chicken Soup for the Soul® franchise, Jack Canfield is uniquely qualified to talk about success. Jack is America’s #1 Success Coach and wrote the life-changing book The Success Principles: How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be and Jack speaks around the world on this subject. Check out his newest book The 30-Day Sobriety Solution: How to Cut Back or Quit Drinking in the Privacy of Your Own Home. Follow Jack at www.jackcanfield.com and sign up for his free resources today!

Image courtesy of rawpixel.

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The Danger of Wishful Thinking: Nothing Changes If We Don’t Take Action

“You just have to determine to settle for nothing less than being fully alive, to show up, be who you are, and share your gifts.” ~Gabrielle Roth

A few years ago for the winter solstice my women’s group got together, as we do every week, and held a beautiful ritual to welcome both the darkness and the light. We released what we were ready to let go of in our lives and set our intentions for the New Year. We not only spoke our intentions, we danced them for each other. It was beautiful and powerful.

But a few days later, as I was sitting in meditation with my candle, I heard the voice of my heart tell me, “You aren’t going to make those intentions come true unless you get very specific about how they are going to come about this year. You need to set goals and outline steps and commit to bringing this about in your life. Otherwise, it’s just going to be business as usual.”

I was shown that I needed to set goals in every area of my life and be very specific about what I desire to create in that area and what it will take to get there. Then I needed to commit to the steps and have a process for tracking them and keeping my goals in my awareness.

Since then, I have been deeply engaged in a process of visioning my life, creating goals for the year, and dividing those goals into measurable, achievable steps, and then following through. I now do a whole several-day process at the start of every year around this, with check-ins at the start of each month and week. I’ve developed a whole process to keep me moving toward my heart’s desires in a balanced way.

The process has been amazing and challenging, and quite a learning experience.

Suddenly I am making things happen in my life that I have wanted for a long time and felt that I either could not make time for or had no control over.

In the process I have had to get very real about what is important to me, what I truly desire, and to what I am willing to commit myself, my energy, time, and resources. How much do I want it? And what is in the way inside of me? What has been holding me back?

One of the things I am realizing is that in the past I relied heavily on wishful thinking, waiting for a miracle to take me out of my current predicament and bring me my dreams. I would hope for a miracle while not committing myself to making the things I desire happen.

I still fall into this, because it’s hard to get crystal clear and then take action. It brings us up against our fears, our false beliefs, our laziness or insecurity or doubt. It would be nice if some giant eagle, like in The Lord of the Rings would just swoop in and save the day, and I wouldn’t have to do anything scary or hard.

But the bigger problem was I didn’t feel empowered to create the life I desire, to manifest my dreams. I felt helpless and hopeless, like the best I could do was hope and pray, and maybe these things would show up and maybe they wouldn’t. Hence I would vacillate between periods of great optimism and great despair, because I didn’t feel I had any agency in the situation.

Now I realize this is totally wrong.

The whole craze around The Secret, the Law of Attraction, and manifesting your life has gone overboard with the sense “I can have anything I want.” There is not enough regard for what is in right alignment for us and others and the planet, what is good for all beings. We also overlook what we might need that we don't know about yet and might at first reject—how sometimes the difficult or unpleasant situations of our lives are exactly what we need for our highest good.

On the other hand, the idea that it is all out of my hands, it is all up to fate and there is nothing I can do about it, is no good either. For one thing, this belief overlooks the fact we are creative beings, powerful creators of our lives, whether for good or ill. We are here to co-create, to cooperate with the flow of Life—sometimes called the Tao—around us and within us. As the artists of our lives, we are here to be active participants in dreaming and creating our lives.

An attitude of surrendering to the flow of life can help us to remember to release the results, the outcome. After you create your vision, this is an important, in fact, crucial step, that is often missed in the whole manifesting craze. But it doesn’t mean you just sit by and do nothing, waiting for your dreams to come true.

Our heart’s desires can bring us into right relationship with the world, to the livingness in and around us. In fact, I believe a true heart’s desire is meant to do just that. Because it summons us to our greatness, to our fullest, most alive being, to our full participation here.

In the past I approached manifestation and the Law of Attraction in a disempowered way. I wrote affirmations and did visualizations, hoping for a miracle, for it to be done for me. Affirmations and visualization can help us bring clarity and joy to our desires. That is tremendous and very powerful. I still use them, sometimes with startlingly positive results.

But there is more required of us. I was forgetting my part in the equation—that I too am part of bringing my dreams to fruition, a big part.

So here are the basic steps I have discovered to co-create with life:

1. Define.

First, you get very clear about what it is that you desire to create in your life. You name it. You visualize it with all of your senses. You feel it in your being. In feeling it, you make sure you really want it, and it isn't just something you think you should want.

You get clear and real about the details. You define. If I want to publish my writing in literary magazines, I need to have a clear idea what that means: I'd like to publish in five magazines by the end of this year, for example.

2. Commit.

I wasn’t really doing this step before. You change the wishing and wanting to a commitment. “I commit to publishing my writing in five magazines this year.”

I find in changing my desire to a commitment, feelings and resistance may arise. There may be fear or doubt in my ability. There may be a belief that nothing good ever happens for me, or that magazines are not publishing good work anymore.

These doubts, fears and beliefs point to work I need to do in myself, to clear out what is in the way inside of me that keeps my desire away from me. This is my job, to feel the feelings and beliefs that hold me back, and work on them, remove the obstacles.

3. Declare.

You state your commitment to friends. You make it known. You seek accountability and support. This is another step we love to avoid, because declaring our commitment puts us in the hot seat.

And you ask for help where you will need it to make this dream a reality. There might be others that can help you with the steps. Don't try to do it alone. That’s another mistake I often make.

4. Visit with your dreams daily.

You re-affirm your dream and your commitment to it daily. Keep it in your consciousness. As you do, create space for silence, so you can hear where you are being led, what steps you need to take.

As you go about your day, stay open to guidance and opportunities to help you realize your dreams. If you aren’t paying attention to the opportunities, you are going to make it a whole lot more difficult to reach your desire.

The road to get there may go through some unusual routes that you had not planned or never conceived of. The road may take you to a completely different outcome, like: It turns out I’m not meant to be a writer, I’m meant to be a singer! How wonderful!

If you are too fixated on how you think you should get there or even where you should arrive, you may be missing the beautiful openings that Life is granting you.

5. Act.

As you visit with your dreams, remember it is up to you to take steps, to act. Miracles and synchronicities often appear on the path of dreams, but first we have to show up by taking action in a repeated, committed way.

You take actions congruent with your desire. You make your life congruent with what you wish to create.

If I want to publish in five magazines, I need to write and I need to submit work on a regular basis. I need to make a schedule and have commitments to make this happen, not just vaguely decide I'll do it “sometime.”

Otherwise, all the dreaming and wishing and hoping, all the affirmations in the world aren’t going to make this happen for me.

And I need to take the unexpected openings that arise, as long as they feel right to me, as long as I feel that “yes” inside. So when someone suddenly says to me, “I’m starting a new magazine, and I need material to publish,” I give them something I have written, because I recognize the opportunity Life is handing me.

6. Surrender.

This is a very important step many people miss. You hand it over to the flow of Life, trusting that the highest and best for you will be done in this situation, even if it looks nothing like what you asked for. You let it go.

Even though you continue to conduct your life congruent with your desire—until you receive information/feeling/sensing that it is no longer right for you—and even though you keep your dream alive in your awareness, you still release the results.

If I keep writing and sending out my work, and it does not get published anywhere this year, I trust in the process, and most of all, I remember to enjoy the process. The process is everything, or nearly everything, because the process is my life happening now.

So it's not enough to engage in wishful thinking and magical practices. You have to go out and change your life, take action. Be the creative force in your life. Make your behavior congruent with your desire. Be accountable, be empowered, ask for help, and then release the results.

No one is going to do it for you if you don't care enough to make it happen in your life. That was the big surprise I didn’t want to realize. But it has made a world of difference.

About Maxima Kahn

Maxima Kahn is a poet, creative life coach and teacher. She teaches heart-centered artists and dreamers how to unleash their unique gifts and create lives of passion, purpose and deep play. She blogs about creativity and artful, soulful living at BrilliantPlayground.com.You can download a copy of her e-book, The 6 Essential Ingredients of a Thriving Creative Life at https://brilliantplayground.com/6essentials/.

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