The Shy Person’s Guide to Making Your Dreams a Reality

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” ~Marianne Williamson

Light poured into the studio. We sat in a circle on the hardwood floor. We did some deep breathing and then the facilitator asked us to think about what we really wanted and didn’t have yet. She instructed us to speak it out loud in the present tense, as if it were already happening.

I was at a co-working space in downtown Toronto, and this was the daily opening where we set our intentions for the day and sometimes did reflective exercises like this one.

She started, “I own a yoga studio on the beach in Hawaii.” The next woman went. And then it was my turn.

As I saw my turn was coming, my breath got short. Anxiety coursed through my body. I didn’t feel ready. “Ummmm…. this is really scary,” I said. “I don’t know what to say.”

For a long time I’ve had difficulty saying what I want. When I was a teenager, I wouldn’t tell anyone when I had a crush on someone. I remember my younger sister would tell anyone who would listen that she had a crush on the boy in the McDonald’s commercial, and I was jealous of her boldness, but still wouldn’t tell a soul about my crushes.

My best friend in elementary school always had a boyfriend, and I never did. I didn’t date in high school either. I felt ashamed. I thought there was something wrong with me and that nobody liked me.

I thought that if I told my friends about my crush and then the person didn’t like me back, I would be seen as a failure. So it was better to keep my mouth shut.

And now, fifteen years later, I’m still scared to ask for what I want.

I’m thirty-one years old. And this was an incredibly safe space. I was surrounded by sensitive and supportive women, but I was terrified.

I put my face in my hands and made some high-pitched noise that I’m not even sure how to describe.

I sat up and looked at everyone. “Okay,” I said. “I’m going to try to say one sentence about what I want.” The butterflies in my stomach started going nuts.

“Why is this so hard??”

“Okay, breathe,” I said, then took a deep breath. “I want to have a big life.” I took another breath. “I want to impact a lot of people.”

The facilitator gently coaxed me, “Can you rephrase that to the present?”

“I have a big life. I’m impacting a lot of people,” I said, “I’m a healer.” And then I really felt like I was going to vomit.

Even in a circle of kind quiet women like me, it was incredibly difficult for me to claim my truth.

When I was growing up I was sensitive and shy, and to be totally honest I still am. When I was twenty-three years old, I landed my dream job working with marginalized youth. And when I was twenty-four, I burnt out from that job.

I understand what it feels like to want to make the world a better place but to get totally exhausted trying to do it. I want to help other sensitive souls realize it’s okay to rest, and to support them to heal, find their voices, and share their gifts.

But I had no idea that talking about what I wanted would be so hard. I’ve done a lot of work on myself: years of therapy and I’ve even spoken at conferences in front of large groups of people. And yet, somehow, saying these three sentences in front of six other kind, sensitive women seemed more difficult than everything else.

And honestly, if the question had been about my darkness, my cruelty, the part of me that hates, I would have no problem going into it. I can speak about my darkness with relative ease.

But my light? My gifts? Please bring me a trashcan to throw up in first.

Best selling author and spiritual teacher Marianne Williamson really hit the nail on the head with her quote “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

This is me, 110 percent.

And although it’s difficult, I also know how incredibly effective it is to claim what you really want. It wasn’t until I went very public about what kind of qualities I wanted in a partner that I met the sweet and passionate guy I’m dating now.

I was sick of online dating so I actually made an entire webpage about the qualities I wanted in a partner. I posted it on Facebook and asked my friends to help me find the right person—and it took some time but eventually it worked.

I now know that if I’m not able to speak openly about my goals in life, I’ll never be able to fully go for them. And the same is true for you.

The good news is, if you’re shy like me and are having a hard time asking for what you really want, there are small steps you can take to start to go for it.

Here’s the Shy Person's Guide to Making Your Dreams a Reality:

1. Notice who you envy, and why.

Sometimes when we're shy we don't even know what we want, because we may have felt too insecure to establish and set goals for ourselves. So the first step to going for what you want is figuring out exactly what that is.

And, surprisingly, envy can actually be really helpful for this.

Which famous people do you envy? Which of your friends? Is it your sister? A colleague? A cousin?

Once you have a list of a few people, ask yourself what you admire about their lives. Is it where they live? Their partner? Their job? Their confidence?

Now, it’s important to remember that just because you envy someone’s life, that doesn’t mean you want exactly what they have.

You might envy your friend who works online because she’s her own boss, but if you’re someone who’s happiest being surrounded by people, that lifestyle might not make sense for you. Perhaps in that case what you really envy is freedom—so the question you’d need to answer for yourself is: How can I create more freedom for myself? What choice would best align with my personality and values?

It’s also important to look beyond the surface when identifying people you envy. Sometimes we envy people who seem to garner a lot of respect and admiration—celebrities, for example. But as Kate Spade’s recent suicide showed, fame and success don’t guarantee happiness.

The point is to get clear on what might fulfill you, and why. So make notes and start to notice the common themes in those people you envy. As you do this, you’ll start to see the kind of life you really want.

2. Allow yourself to daydream.

Now that you have some clues about what you want, allow yourself to dream about it. If you have a journal, write about it. If you’re more visual, make a collage or do a drawing. Or, alternatively, go for a walk and let your mind daydream about it.

This might sounds totally silly, but I actually made a PowerPoint about what I wanted my business to look like years ago. It wasn’t a public presentation and I only shared it with two or three close friends. But I stumbled upon it the other day and was amazed by how much of what I envisioned had come through.

So use whatever medium works best for you to envision your dream life!

3. Talk about your dreams.

Once you’ve gotten clearer about what they are, tell a good friend or your partner about your dreams. I like to start these kinds of conversations by saying something like, “I’m nervous to tell you about this, and I’m not ready to have any feedback on it yet, but what I really want is…”

Start small. Just tell one tiny part of your dream. See how it feels. See how your friend reacts. If it feels good, tell them a little bit more.

The last thing you want when you’re nurturing a new dream is for someone to stomp all over it. So if the friend doesn’t react in a supportive way, don’t say anything else. Find someone else who will be gentle and supportive of your dream.

Once you’ve practiced talking about it and got some support from friends or family members, it’s time to take it to the next level. Start to bring it up more often.

I know for us shy-types this can be really difficult, but take it one step, one person, one conversation at a time. And remember, there’s nothing more inspiring at a lunch with friends or family event than to hear about what someone’s really passionate about.

As you begin to talk about these things more, it will help you to take small steps toward making your dream a reality. You’ll begin to build your confidence and you might even make connections that’ll help you to get there.

4. Talk about your strengths.

What are you really good at? What do people always ask you for help with? If you’re anything like me, it’s easy to talk about your darkness, your procrastination, your bad habits, but it’s probably hard for you to talk about what you’re good at.

So start by journaling about this and then practice telling close friends or family members.

Does it make you want to vomit? Don’t worry, you’re not alone.

I’ve started doing this recently, and one thing that really helps me is to tell the person that I’m practicing talking about my strengths. I start by saying something like, “I’m really good at talking about my challenges and have realized that I’m really bad at talking about my strengths. I want to practice, so I’m going to practice saying one good thing about me. Are you okay with that?”

Once I have my friend’s support, it becomes much easier to say something. And even if I fumble with my words—which, believe me, I do—they’re usually really supportive because they know I’m doing something that’s difficult for me.

And I promise it’ll get easier with practice. So start by saying one strength to one friend and build from there.

5. Don’t just talk—take action!

As you tell people about your goals and strengths, they might introduce you to people who can help you, offer their support, or share helpful resources.

And even if they don’t, there are small actions you can begin to take. If your dream is to be a painter, buy some paints and do your first painting. If your dream is to live by the beach, book a weekend getaway to one of the beach towns you’re considering and check it out.

Whatever your dream is, you can take a baby step toward making it a reality, and those steps will lead you to where you want to go.

And yes, it’ll sometimes be terrifying. I know that it’s not easy to do. So take one small risk at a time and slowly, step-by-step, you’ll move in a new direction.

The more you’re able to share about your dreams and strengths, the easier it’s going to be for you to get what you want. And even if you don't get exactly what you think you want, you'll probably be far more fulfilled just by being on a path that excites you.

Even as a shy person, you deserve to have a full and beautiful life. So start taking small steps today to get you there.

About Bryn Bamber

Career Coach Bryn Bamber helps people like you find a career that’s aligned with your goals. Her Burnout to Brilliance program teaches you how to make small shifts that will free up tons of energy for the things you really love. Start today with your FREE Checklist: Decrease Stress and Get an Hour of Your Day Back!

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Maybe It’s Not All Good or All Bad

“You are the sky. Everything else—it’s just the weather.” ~Pema Chödrön

A farmer has a horse for many years; it helps him earn his livelihood and raise his son. One day, the horse runs away. His neighbor says sympathetically, “Such bad luck.”

The farmer replies, “Maybe. Who knows?”

The next day, the horse makes its way back home bringing with it another horse. The neighbor says with a smile, “Such good luck.”

The farmer replies, “Maybe. Who knows?”

The following day, the farmer’s son rides the new horse and seeks to tame it. In the process, he breaks his leg. The neighbor says sympathetically, “Such bad luck.”

The farmer replies, “Maybe. Who knows?”

The last day of the story, the military comes to the village to draft all able-bodied young men to fight in a war. The son is exempt from the draft due to his broken leg. You can guess what the neighbor said, and how the farmer replied.

This Zen Buddhist parable illustrates that we never really know exactly why things are unfolding the way that they are, and that labeling them as “good” or “bad” is useless. It only gets us all wrapped up in the ups and downs. Riding the car of this dichotomy only takes us on a roller coaster ride while our emotions are following whatever storyline is in front of us.

Because I’m a human, I do this all of the time. I think that something fits neatly into either category and I place it there then try to not look back. Usually that ends with those contents spilling out all over the place. Like when I try to make certain foods “good” or “bad.” Food has no morality, and categorizing it in this way just brings me shame.

David Allen explained that the Taoists have their own way of interpreting the complication: the yin and yang symbol. “Good” flows into “bad” and the two are even contained in one another. They can’t really be separated.

Let’s explore this concept of “good,” “bad,” and “maybe” more with a story from my life.

The story starts with the “good.” Not too far out of college I had a cushy tech job that I absolutely adored. I relished in the fact that I was doing what I loved and that I had been promoted to that position after working really hard.

The perks were great. We had flexible hours, leaving room for naps on my work from home days. My favorite perk was a giant snack room, full of all kinds of goodies. We were swimming in the startup benefits, and by all measures, I was happy. However, I didn’t realize how much the perks had swept me up into working all of the time until I collapsed.

I had a breakdown. I could be found writhing in emotional pain, my brain wanting me dead. How quickly this good turned to “bad.” I was taken by ambulance to a locked ward. This took me totally off guard.

Everyday things like my laptop cord and makeup mirrors were taken from me lest I harm myself. I slept in a hallway of sixteen girls, and a nurse opened our doors every fifteen minutes at night to check to see if we were still breathing. The food was subpar at best.

I wanted to die. I had a total mental health collapse and realized I had been running myself ragged at this job. I had to quit it because I knew that this stay wasn’t going to be a quick fix. I had five more hospitalizations that year, and I thought that my life was over.

While reflecting on what had brought me to this point, I realized that the job wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows; this job that I adored also happened to be wildly demanding of my time, even beyond the forty-hour workweek.

The office had terrible boundaries, with lots of people dating one another (including myself at one point). Most harmful, though, was the unlimited stash of anytime booze (I’m a recovering alcoholic).

Later, reflecting on the time I spent hospitalized, I realized my experiences weren’t all “bad.” My time in and out of psych wards has reminded me how strong I am—the strength it took to get help instead of killing myself was something I didn’t know I had.

I thought I’d stay on the path to destruction for much longer, but my will to live came through. I was shown, despite my skepticism, that I’m indeed never alone; my loved ones showered me with support.

It took eighteen months of rest before I was ready to go back to work. I struggled with feeling inadequate and useless during this time. I was so accustomed to working like a maniac that rest felt foreign to me. Bringing us to the present, I’m finally well enough to be able to work. Though I’ve gotten a job that pays much less than my last one and it isn’t even close to as prestigious. I’m calling it my “get-well job.”

I’m still working through some shame around it, wanting to call this “bad,” even though I know it’s a mix of things.

Instead of calling it “bad,” I do my best to return to “maybe” with a shrug.

I’m not saying that I’m able to be perfectly non-judgmental and unattached, living without worry at my job and feeling perfectly confident when talking about it. Though some days I can just let things be what they are. I can notice that voice inside that’s yelling at me and I can soothe it. I can create a new script and I can practice radical acceptance by not fighting against what’s going on in my mind.

Looking back, I called my job “good” and the psych wards “bad,” though there were no clear categories. Good is great, but it doesn’t last forever. Bad can hurt, but it doesn’t last forever either. There was a bit of a mix of everything. Much of life is this way.

I don’t know why things happen the way that they do, and I never know what’s going to happen next. Perhaps this job will benefit my life in ways I could never predict. Maybe it’ll keep me where I’m at, or make things worse, I just don’t know.

The thing is, though, once I start to move past outcomes I can be more present to and flexible with what’s happening.

I can just enjoy learning to use the espresso machine at my new job rather than worrying about what people think of my new job choice. I can practice gentleness around my mental health, remaining non-judgmental when I have a difficult day. I can do this instead of thrashing against what is, letting my mind carry me to dreams of what things could be and being angry about how things are.

I can work with whatever emotions come up, knowing that it’s all the path. I can’t prevent life from happening and I can’t always force what I want to take place. What I do have control of is l how I react to everything and today I’m trying to have a “maybe” attitude.

Lastly, I was reminded by being knocked down by my job and mental health that the human spirit is wildly resilient. I got back up; I did it very slowly, but I did it.

About Ginelle Testa

Ginelle Testa is a passionate wordsmith. She's a queer gal whose passions include recovery/sobriety, social justice, body positivity, and intersectional feminism. In the rare moments she isn't writing, you can find her holding her own in a recreational street hockey league, thrifting eclectic attire, and imperfectly practicing Buddhism. You can find her at

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Practice Grace. It Changes Everything.

Often I teach a concept called “love is a verb.” My definition of love is to care about the other person’s experience as deeply as you care about your own: how they are feeling, how your actions are impacting them, and what you can do to ensure they feel safe, connected, and loved by you. This is active consideration.

It sounds beautiful in theory, but it can be difficult in practice. In our daily lives – especially in times of busyness, excitement, and stress – we tend to react to the things coming at us rather than respond to them with deliberation and care. Even the most saintly among us are guilty of snapping at a loved one or carelessly dismissing someone’s feelings. So how do we change—really change?

Learn to catch yourself.

In order to practice love as a verb, you need to be able to catch yourself in your own thinking and feelings during a conversation, which is no easy task. But, it is something you can learn to do. One of my favorite examples is the time my husband demonstrated the power of this practice. It was back when our third child was only a few months old, so our house was more hectic than usual, to say the least. Turns out (!), when you are tired, hungry, overwhelmed, or preoccupied, conscious consideration is an even greater challenge. There is just so much room for miscommunication and a lack of grace in interactions.

Choose to love, instead.

My husband is the organized one … me, not so much. I have a bad habit of moving things and not putting them back in their proper place. Philosophically, I understand that this can really mess up the other people I live with. “Where ARE the diapers/wipes/etc?” is a question I hear a lot, at various levels of annoyance.

Though I have plenty of excuses, I know in my heart that it’s selfish of me not to put things back in their place. If I was on a sports team, well … I wouldn’t be considered “Most Valuable Player.” Sometimes my husband’s frustration gets the better of him and he snaps at me. I, in return, get defensive.

I might say how tired I am, or tell him all the things he does wrong or even (always a clincher) burst into tears. But the truth is that when I get defensive, I am just avoiding being accountable for my bad habit and its impact on the team. It doesn’t make me or him feel any better. Instead, now he has two crybabies on his hands.

He added grace to the formula of our usual fight.

But then it happened. He cut me off at the pass. With a wailing baby in his arms, he found me upstairs in the house to ask where the wipes were NOW located. As I heard him approaching, my inner dialogue kicked into gear. I was already expecting him to be exasperated and annoyed, and in my mind I began making a case for how exasperated and annoyed I was feeling, too.

This time, he didn’t let on that he was annoyed. Instead, he nonchalantly said, “Hey, I don’t want to stress you out, but it’s hard when I can’t find something in its proper place.”

He didn’t say anything besides that. Ironically, I immediately wanted to own up to what I did and apologize for my bad habit. I promised him, “I’ll do better.” And I meant it. That was his instant reward for showing this small consideration for me.

I am not sure I deserved it, given I was the one who messed him up. But, the generosity he showed me taught me something. Sometimes the fight isn’t about what you think it is. Yes, of course it’s important to put the baby wipes back where you found them. But, the deeper issues here for both of us were:

Am I being considered? Are we in partnership here?

In a fight, either party can press “pause” and address these issues. Either person can take a time out and GIVE consideration, and it will change everything.

Do you find yourself having the same fight over and over with someone in your life? Would it help if you could just press pause and consider their experience? Make mention of it and you can watch the tide of the whole interaction turn before your very eyes.

This “grace formula” doesn’t just clear the lines of communication; it also deepens the bond of the relationship as a whole. It gets you more of what you want, too! Since that interaction with my husband, I doubled my efforts to put things away.

With grace comes power.

It’s a hard climb to the high road sometimes, but being someone who seizes the opportunity to bring compassion and consideration to the (changing) table gives you tremendous power in any relationship. And the best part is … with the right tools and practice, anyone can get GREAT at this skill.


P.S. When it comes to practicing grace, we all need a little help along the way. If you need more inspiration, take the Current Reality Quiz! It’s a quick, easy, and fun (we swear) way to self-assess and get a better idea (or at least an honest one) on what areas of your life you need to work on.

Laurie Gerber is a Senior Coach and Co-President of Handel Group® Life Coaching. For over 15 years, Laurie has led international events and private coaching courses. She has appeared on MTV’s True Life, A&E’s The Marriage Test, Dr. Phil and TODAY.

Image courtesy of Samuel Scrimshaw.

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Stop Dangling Maybes: The Power of Making a Clear Decision

Have you ever heard a life changing quote on a TV show? What about on a super hero show? Sometimes a good mix of romance, adventure and bad guys can lead to one of those light bulb moments where you are just never the same after. This happened to me watching the CW show Arrow. Yes, Arrow. Not Super Soul Sunday (although that is awesome!) or a legendary biography on The History Channel. This quote stopped me in my tracks and I bet it will make you think today too.

Here is the set up.

There are two main characters, Felicity Smoak and Oliver Queen who denied their love for each other for at least a couple of seasons. They were talking about their future and Oliver being the overprotective super hero type, was telling Felicity (aka, the woman he knows is the love of his life) that he might never be able to have a normal life with her.

He was basically saying they could be together, maybe someday, but not sure when, how, or if ever. Felicity had had enough of that, so she replied, “Then say never. Stop dangling maybes. Say it’s never going to work out between us, say you’re never going to love me.”

Stop. Dangling. Maybes.

When I heard that phrase it just made me stop and think about where in my own life, I dangle some maybes around things and never actually say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and experience the closure of the situation.

For years I said I want to exercise more. I didn’t actually exercise more. I just wanted to. For years I said it would be fun to cook together with my husband. I didn’t sign up for a cooking class. I didn’t experiment with recipes. I do help him in the kitchen, but I never did anything on my own to make that happen.

For years I said it would be awesome to own my own business, do my own thing and leave the corporate world behind. I said that during my 45 minute commute into the corporate world every day.

Then one day, I took a page out of my favorite super-heroine’s notebook (Thank you Felicity Smoak!) and threw my maybes to the curb.

I found out the schedule at my local yoga studio and have been going twice a week for the last three weeks.

I signed the hubby and me up for Blue Apron, then Hello Fresh and finally Home Chef. These services send you pre-measured ingredients so all you have to do is cook them. We kept experimenting until we found one that is perfect for us. Not a single maybe in sight! Now we cook together regularly and as a novice cook I ventured on my own one night that the hubster was working late and made split pea soup by myself.

I swear it’s like I crossed the four minute mile or traveled to the moon. It really is the little things in life that can be the most delicious!

Finally, I lovingly said goodbye to a wonderful job that I loved, to say hello to the future I always envisioned for myself.

It was scary, exciting, I cried, I hugged. As I ended that chapter in my life I realized even more so, how powerful it is to stop dangling maybes and finally go for your love, your dream, or sometimes just your soup.

Tiny dreams and big dreams all wrap together to form the fabric of our lives.

Sometimes it really isn’t the best moment to pursue the huge ones. It took Oliver Queen a whole season to realize he wanted to be with Felicity Smoak and he would need to figure out the rest one day at a time.

By the way, spoiler alert….they are married now.

Sometimes it takes us years to change a ‘maybe’ to a ‘no thank you’ or a ‘yes! I would be delighted!’

I believe there is no perfect time, only the time it takes us to have enough courage to take the tiny steps that can lead to big leaps. I believe you can learn from anyone, whether it’s a PhD professor or a TV show about superheroes. And from now on, I will use Felicity’s wise words to remind me that whenever I stop dangling those maybes and give clear yeses and clear no’s that’s when the magic can happen. That’s when the love grows deeper and the adventures get wilder.

I will also remember that like Felicity, I don’t have super powers and I might not be able to aim arrows to shoot super bad guys, but I can absolutely be the hero of my own life. I can challenge those around me to be better, to make choices, and to grow.

So here is my superhero challenge for you today: take a minute and think about your day to day life. Is there somewhere where you are dangling a maybe? Where a clear yes or a clear no, will bring about something you have always wanted? Or end something that isn’t working?

Whatever that might be – I am invoking my inner Felicity Smoak and challenging you to make a decision.

Maggie Reyes took her years of working in HR at luxury hotels and realized that five-star hotels are fabulous but five-star marriages are even better. She founded Modern Married to share a light-hearted, yet practical approach to making marriage work, without changing your partner and using the principles of luxury service and relationship psychology.

Image courtesy of Darius Bashar.

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The Pain Healing Power of the Emotional Reset Method

The last time I tried regression, I wasn’t searching for deeper understanding of my life. Rather, I’d gotten into a nasty car accident, and I just wanted the pain in my neck to go away.

Enter my mentor and regression expert, Dr. Coletta Long. Regression is the practice of remembering past experiences that help to illuminate our current condition, so when I sat down with Dr. Long for our appointment, we started with the car accident. She asked me to talk her through the crash, and from there, we talked back through life events that were contributing to the pain I felt.

As we talked, I found myself remembering a past lifetime as a young woman who had run away from her family after discovering that they wanted to sell her into prostitution. She struck out on her own and found safety working in a library. I could picture her perfectly, sitting there amongst the books, and I knew that she had found peace. Then my mind took me to the night she’d crept into the library in the dark to hunt for a particular title. She was climbing a ladder to search a high shelf when her foot slipped. She fell and her neck broke. She died, and she was immediately drawn into a bright, white light—as warm and inviting as an embrace.

I relayed this story to Dr. Long as she and I drew the connections between the young woman and myself. Her fear for her life that had motivated her to change and to pursue her dreams mirrored the patterns of my own life, and it convinced me to no longer settle for less than I deserved. It was time to recognize my worth and to use the talent and gifts that I was given to their full extent. On a physical level, by experiencing the woman’s death through the instant breaking of her neck followed by the soothing white light, the neck pain that I had incurred from the car accident disappeared. I have not felt pain in my neck since that session.

Because of the powerful release I had experienced under Dr. Long’s guidance, I realized that this was what I wanted to do with the rest of my life: master regression and help other people the way Dr. Long had helped me. This experience inspired my own program, which I practice today: the Emotional Reset Method.

I came to understand that soul healing happens by going into each of your emotional blocks, finding out why it is there and changing the energy.

When we are ready to be healed, we can go back into the past, experience the parts of ourselves that we are afraid of, recognize and then reclaim each of those parts. @RobinEmmerich (Click to Tweet!)

The conscious mind will say “I have forgiven,” for example, but the subconscious has not forgiven until you feel the love, joy, and abundance that flows from genuine forgiveness. As we release these fears, we begin to change our perception of past events, assisting us in the release of fears, limitations, conflicts, and false beliefs.

Regression is a powerful technique to access the subconscious mind, the part of us that accepts all information non-judgmentally. Our emotions—like our survival instinct of fear—are stored in the subconscious brain, which is stored much deeper in our mind than our conscious thoughts, explains Joseph E. LeDoux in his book The Emotional Brain. We can access information stored in our subconscious mind like a computer, without our emotions or fears getting in the way, allowing us to clear the barriers of pain and fear in our mind that are holding us back. Through regression, I have re-experienced several other traumatic events in my life, released the frozen blocks of fear, pain and shock in my body, and have gone back to the cause of the events that originated in the past—not just earlier in my life, but in other lifetimes.

After I experienced the power of Dr. Long’s methodology I used my training and experience to reframe her teachings to help even more people achieve the freedom from fear and trauma that I’ve also experienced. That’s what is at the heart of the Emotional Reset Method: Freedom. Freedom from past experiences, even the traumatic ones, and freedom from the fear of the future.

The Emotional Reset Method is the act of identifying emotional stumbling blocks from our past, learning to release our attachment to those emotions and experience, and reconnecting to our intuition.

I’m not here to focus on past lives or reincarnation. What I believe in is working with the subconscious mind and heart. Is there pain—whether physical or mental—in your life that’s holding you back? Let’s chat about it in the comments below.

Robin Emmerich has spent close to a decade coaching some of the most successful women in business. Even with their considerable success, the common denominator is that as much as they seemed to be cruising through life on the outside, they were melting on the inside. It’s why Robin just launched Beauty and the Mess—an athleisure brand creating a sisterhood who understands that life is messy and difficult and challenging, but together, can find the strength to prioritize passion over perfection and fearlessly seek beauty in their everyday lives. She currently offers the CIJourney online course, based on the famed Stanford Masters Degree Course, ‘Creativity in Business,’ individual coaching and worldwide retreats. Connect with Robin at on Instagram, or

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