I Can’t Help That This Is Me

I can’t help that getting stuck on a television show with the love of my life is not necessarily one of my goals.

I can’t help that I want to write my story at midnight, while I’m warming up my oven because its finally dinner time.

I can’t help that I live in my own world and it feels right.

I can’t help that I question everything.

I can’t help that I would rather cry all day digging inside of my soul…than sit and have small talk.

I can’t help that I CHOOSE to choose me.

I can’t help that happiness to me doesn’t necessarily mean certainty.

I can’t help that this is me…

I can’t help that I cannot accept the way humans are treated.

I can’t help but live a life where I am here for others.

I can’t help but believe that kindness is one of the most important things to give this world.

I can’t help but believe with my whole heart that we are all the same.

I can’t help but see the way things are…and just know there has got to be a better way.

I wish it was easier and that getting married, or finding the perfect career would be enough for me.

I just know there is more

There is soul to be found, love to be given, and hopefully change to be made within myself and others.

Maybe one day it will all happen, my prince or princess will come strolling down and I will just know, Love at first sight.

No offense to anyone, But come on, its been the same story since we were 14.

And no, I am not bitter…and believe me I have not lost hope.

That’s the so called “problem” I have. I have so much faith in the unknown and what I feel inside, That I am not afraid to jump into the unknown.

I am not afraid to not settle for so so…

We have so much magic inside, We have parts of us that will never be whole.

We are a part of such a bigger picture.

So, Yes, I am genuinely sorry that I cannot be everything for you.

I don’t even want to be everything for me…

I wanna be everything for this world…

I can’t live a way that may be easier…just because?

I can only live with purpose…If not what is the point.

I can’t help that this is me.

But…

What I can do is love you.

What I can do is promise you that I am doing this for you, for me and for everyone.

I know that when we are true and authentic to ourselves, that’s what makes this world a better place…

I can promise you I am human…

I can promise you I have wings…

I can promise you I will never give up…

To everyone who feels in the middle because you can’t live the ‘world way’…I feel you.

I am just as odd as you, I still get lost and confused from time to time. I smile so big when those alignments happen. We are all here for you. We are hidden in the cracks of the world. We are the flowers that blossom after the rain knowing that it is inevitable that the storm will come again. But, That does not stop us from giving all our heart into each breath that is taken.

We can’t help that we can only live from our hearts…

We can’t help that this is who we are..

Em Garcia is a Hip Hop Artist and Writer. She is a growth seeker and believes kindness can change the world. She believes in everything and everyone. You can find her on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.

Image courtesy of Priscilla Du Preez.

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How to Discover Your Purpose and Embrace the Life You’re Meant to Have

Have you ever sat and wondered, “What is my purpose? How can I find it?”

This is a question that I asked myself before starting my transformational journey fifteen years ago and hear so often from my clients. Joseph Campbell calls the path of transformation the hero’s journey. When we step fully into the journey, we are often required to face the shadow of the victim within and become the victor. The light of the victim is the victor.

“A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.” – Joseph Campbell

I recently helped a friend navigate the path of the hero’s journey from the mind into her heart, she discovered that her mind and heart were on two different pages. Her mind said “I want to leave my current company and start my own company, but I don’t know how to be successful. Taking time to journey into her heart opened the voice within her that said, “I want to do something that makes a difference in the world.”

When she dropped into her heart, a miracle took place. All of a sudden, she went from fear and self-doubt, to love and truth. She held a deep desire to help people and began to recall how she had spent the last ten years in her company learning all of the skills needed to start her own company. She had an idea to become an independent consultant and bring on her current company as her first client. The following week when we met, she could barely contain herself, “I talked with my boss. He is fully supportive of my business model and I’ll be transitioning from employee to independent consultant within four weeks!” She shared how she will have the time now to take on the projects that are most fulfilling and can contribute to other organizations close to her heart.

Sometimes it takes digging deep into the what, why and how we are doing what we are doing. And sometimes it’s just allowing the old adage the truth will set you free. With love and support, we become the victor of our lives and no longer settle for anything less.

Miracles unfold when we let ourselves step into the mess. @RobinEmmerich (Click to Tweet!)

I experienced this when I first started my own journey. I was in a bikram yoga class and had briefly glanced in the mirror in front of me. I immediately went into thoughts of self-judgment and remember feeling that everyone else in the room looked so much more put together. All of a sudden, I opened my eyes, looked in the mirror, and saw every single person, male and female, as one – all beautiful. One miraculous experience and my entire life changed. I will never forget that moment and continue to see the beauty and oneness of every single person.

We are all here serving a purpose on this planet, or we wouldn’t be here.

What are the top three negative, fearful thoughts that are running your life right now? Now bow your head to your heart, what does your heart have to say? Let it speak and see what unfolds. Let’s start the conversation in the comments below!

If you want more peace, clarity, and fulfillment in your life, I’d love for you to join me in Live the Life You Desire, a 4-week live, online transformational journey.

Robin Emmerich has spent close to a decade coaching some of the most successful women in business. Even with their considerable success, the common denominator is that as much as they seemed to be cruising through life on the outside, they were melting on the inside. It’s why Robin just launched Beauty and the Mess—an athleisure brand creating a sisterhood who understands that life is messy and difficult and challenging, but together, can find the strength to prioritize passion over perfection and fearlessly seek beauty in their everyday lives. She currently offers the CIJourney online course, based on the famed Stanford Masters Degree Course, ‘Creativity in Business,’ individual coaching and worldwide retreats. Connect with Robin at robinemmerich.com on Instagram, or beautyandthemess.com.

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The anti-CEO playbook | Hamdi Ulukaya

Profit, money, shareholders: these are the priorities of most companies today. But at what cost? In an appeal to corporate leaders worldwide, Chobani founder Hamdi Ulukaya calls for an end to the business playbook of the past — and shares his vision for a new, "anti-CEO playbook" that prioritizes people over profits. "This is the difference between profit and true wealth," he says.
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What Happens When We Compromise Our Core Values

“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” ~Roy E. Disney

I got out of the car and could immediately tell that something was amiss. There were far too many glum-looking people milling around outside the building my meeting was scheduled to take place in. I worked for Yellow Pages at the time, and I regularly met with business owners who were interested in placing ads.

At that moment two burly men exited through the warehouse adjoining the office carrying a filing cabinet. A man who was carrying what looked like a paper shredder followed them.

There were probably ten men, most of whom were wearing coveralls, stood around smoking, talking in hushed tones and generally looking despondent

I turned around to look at my manager. She shrugged and motioned for me to go into the office.

At this point the veil lifted and I realized what was going on. The men carrying out the office furniture were repo men, or bailiffs as we call them in the UK. The other people outside were staff members who by now were starting to realize they were possibly no longer in employment.

I stopped in the office doorway and again turned to my manager looking for a cue that it was okay to pivot and leave, but I didn’t get one.

Instead, she nodded toward the clearly anxious business owner, leaned into me, and whispered into my ear, “Quick, get him to sign the order while he still has a desk to lean on.” She wasn’t joking and I was momentarily stunned.

I knew that the owner would probably sign because he had nothing to lose. If he went bankrupt he wouldn’t have to pay the bill. And if he managed to survive he would need to renew the advert he had previously placed with us to generate business—though he likely still wouldn’t pay, given the circumstances.

Many years ago, when I was about eleven years old, I was trying to fit in with some boys a year or so older than me.

It was near the beginning of my first year at a big, new school. I had few friends close to me because those of us who had moved up together had been split up in different classes across the entire year. As such, I was eager to please the other new boys in my class so I could feel included.

I had latched onto a group of about four others, and we were walking home from school one late afternoon.

As was already common practice, we stopped to go into a small convenience store that sold everything from fruit and vegetables to the more desirable candy.

In those days, we all wore school uniforms, and I had on a new blazer that was a bit too big for me, making me look a bit like Paddington Bear minus the marmalade sandwich under my hat.

I was wandering around the store, ruing the fact that I didn’t have any money to buy anything lovely and sweet, when suddenly I felt something heavy drop into the right-hand pocket of my blazer. I nervously looked down and could see an orange nestled neatly in the pocket.

I looked back up to see one of the other boys grinning at me. He put his finger to his lips and gently pushed me toward the door with his other hand, obviously wanting me to leave with the ‘free’ orange.

I immediately felt sick with nerves.

I’d never stolen anything in my life, and this didn’t feel good at all. Neither did the thought of my trying to put the orange back and getting caught. Or, even telling the store owner that my new friend was encouraging me to steal his produce.

I must have had guilt written all over my face because I was barely a half dozen paces through the door when I felt a large hand on my shoulder.

I spun round hoping it was my friend but deep down knew it wasn’t.

My worst fears were realized as I faced the angry storeowner, who immediately thrust his hand into my pocket and pulled out the errant orange. I was so anxious that I had to fight the urge to throw up all over the man’s shoes.

He brandished the citrus reticulata in front of my face and said, “What do you think you’re doing with this? Are you a thief? I’m going to call your parents.”

I could barely talk, I was so frightened. My fear intensified as I saw my new friends walk off laughing, obviously not in the least bit concerned by my predicament.

To the best of my knowledge, that was the first time I was introduced to core values and their crucial importance in our lives.

It was a chastening experience explaining to my parents why I’d done such a thing, after they had been called to collect me.

They felt let down, but probably more importantly, I felt I’d let myself down to such an extent that I vowed I would never allow myself to get dragged into such behavior again.

I value honesty and integrity, and I’d demonstrated neither. Of course, I had no idea at that age what core values were. I just knew something was badly amiss.

As I stood in the doorway to the office, years later, the orange stealing incident came flooding back to me in glorious technicolor. Only this time there was no desire to fit in and no need for external validation.

I was well aware why my manager wanted a signature on the order. She knew, irrespective of whether the guy would ever pay—he clearly wouldn’t—that she would still earn a financial bonus and the ‘sale’ would go toward her target for that campaign. It would be a great many months before our employer realized they were probably never going to get paid.

Enough was enough. I turned round and walked passed her, thrusting the order into her hand, and hissed, “You sign him up.”

I knew she wouldn’t. It was one thing having my counter signature on an order that defaulted, but quite another to have a manager sign off on it.

As I walked back to the car I knew I was done.

I was done with a manager who had zero integrity. Done with a company that only cared about its bottom line. And done with an entire industry that seemed interested in one thing and one thing only, generating revenue.

Prior to that day I’d had what many people would consider a successful career. I earned excellent money, won numerous sales awards, and was a team player who was always looking to help my colleagues.

From the outside looking in, I was a success.

But the problem with success is that it doesn’t have an objective definition. We define our own success, not other people. Unless that is, we foolishly allow them to.

Which would you consider a successful life: living in alignment with your values and doing work you truly believe is meaningful, or earning loads of cash doing work that leaves you feeling conflicted?

If you truly value family, should you really accept that job that will take you away on business half the time?

If integrity is paramount to your sense of well-being, should you really make false claims on your taxes or exaggerate your work expense report?

And thinking beyond work, if peace is critical to you, is it wise to get involved in petty online squabbles and neglect your meditation practice?

Commit today to figuring out your own core vales by asking yourself:

“What is important to me?”

Then, when you have an answer, follow up with the question:

“What does that give me?”

Write that down and irrespective of the answer make the same inquiry again:

“What does that (new word) give me?”

Then write that down.

And keep going until you cannot think of anything else or you start to give the same answers and end up in a loop.

Then start the process again by asking, “What is important to me?”

The reason you need to keep drilling down is to make sure you hit a value.

For example, if the answer to the original question is money, then that’s not a value. Money can never be a value.

If I gave you a million dollars under the condition you could never spend it, invest it, or give it away—you could only look at it—would you want it?

Of course not.

We all want money because of what we think it can give us. Maybe that is security, freedom, or maybe even peace of mind. They are the values.

When you have figured out your top eight or more values, the easy part is over because now you need to start asking yourself some tough questions.

Does my job align with my values?

Do my friends (for the most part) align with my values?

Do my habits align with my values?

Do my thoughts align with my values?

If the answer to one or more of the above is no, then some work is called for because there is little point knowing your values if you don’t live them.

As an eleven-year-old I didn’t appreciate core values. I couldn’t have told you that the reason I was so distressed about Orangegate was because integrity was super important to me.

I also didn’t realize the situation was exacerbated by the fact that I highly value independence and following my own path.

But, I didn’t have the excuse of youth as a forty-year-old. And I knew it.

Even though in my mind I was done with sales on that day, it took me another year or so before I finally found a new career that aligned with my most important values.

And, it would take another decade of working for myself before my income would be back up to my previous level.

Nevertheless, I didn’t care, because, even though I didn’t have the disposable income I was used to, I had something much more important and much more valuable.

And that was a profound feeling that I was successful based not upon income, but on being true to my values.

We all need money and most people like status, but nothing gives us that innate sense of peace and contentedness like living in alignment with our core values.

About Tim Brownson

Tim Brownson has been a life coach since 2005. He specializes in core values work for most of that time and now teaches it to other coaches. If you’re interested in understanding your own values and how you can use them to make better decisions and lead a happier and more fulfilled life, check out his book, The Clarity Method.

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